Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Quarterback and the Cheerleader

 In a scene from this movie, the quarterback of the team is pimp-slapped silly* by his wife during a heated argument where he contemplates retirement, due to a possible career ending injury. She believes he's still a great quarterback. He's the injured party..wouldn't he know when it's time to hang up the cleats? He was discouraged because of his injury, the new owner of the team thinks he's over-the-hill, the team itself is in turmoil, and he may just be a little intimidated by the heir apparent whose waiting on his chance at stardom.  However, quitting is not an option.

Role Reversal
Does she see something in him that tells her he's not ready to give it all up? Maybe. Is she just addicted to the lifestyle that his occupation affords her them?  Possibly.  The point is, she still believes in him and his abilities. She does not allow him to wallow in self pity and encourages him to stop whinin' get back on his grind (in his case, go to physical therapy/rehab) and get back to being the leader/go getter that he is.  I mean, she's on his ass!  He eventually makes it back to starting QB.

Who's quarterbacking this thing?  She is, of course.  Did she have to do this? Not at all.  As his wife/helpmate she should WANT TO.

help·mate   n.  A helper and companion, especially a spouse.

In a 'traditional' marriage, the husband is the head/leader of the family, the wife is his helper, simple as that.  There is balance (at least there should be); she may be strong in areas where he's weak and vice versa. In this example, the QB's wife encouraged him to not give up.  And real talk, she the family was used to a certain standard of living.  There are additional perks to being a part of the club.  

However, she's his biggest cheerleader.

Get him back to where he needs to be and fall back.

Know your role and play your position.  Make him feel like SUPERMAN (and I don't mean Shaq-fu and certainly not D.wight How.ard).

His woman's got his back, to hell with what everyone else says or thinks.  Don't help them beat him up.  At the end of the day it's you two against the world. 

*This is only one of the many story lines of this movie.  Also, I don't condone violence of any kind in any relationship. 


Erica said...

I agree with this one hundred percent. If it were reversed, the man would try to "fix" said situation, because traditionally, that's what they do! Oftentimes nowadays, women don't want to be the cheerleader; they want to be the coach, the quarterback, and the receiver! Thank you for saying it's OK for a woman to be the helpmate and not super(wo)man. Loved it!

Penny Wize said...

Welcome, Erica!

Re: the coach, quarterback and receiver

I know,right? Who can be all those things and remain sane, lol? Where does he fit in? It takes a bit of trial and error, but if the two are TRULY committed to one another, it'll happen, IMO. Both roles (leader and helpmate)are equally important.

Thanks for commenting!

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Wonderful advice, although I like the term 'partner' or even BFF more than helper or helpmate, but that's just me. ;)